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30Duck

OSU to Create an Enhanced Fan Experience at Reser Stadium

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I will add that in the last 5 seasons the Beavers have 11 wins at home, those with academic prowess realize that means Beaver fans have experienced on average 2.2 wins at home, so

 

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OREGONSTATE.RIVALS.COM

Oregon State is upgrading its video replay board ahead of the 2022 season...

 

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I don't know a way to help the Beavs. But what if we were able to hack into Washington's Scoreboard and replay "The Pick" on a loop. I think the crowd at Husky Stadium would enjoy that. 

 

 

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I wonder if they'll enhance their audio equipment so on 3rd downs you can get a true Dolby Atmos surround sound from the chainsaw?

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An "enhanced fan experience "??

 

Like maybe win a few home games!!!

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The real question is..."will it be bigger than the new Video-Screen at PK Park?"

Mr. FishDuck

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Guest Axel

Ordinarily we are reluctant to offer ways to assist any football opponent. After all, Our Beloved Ducks deserve to have every possible advantage over every other school in the nation, nay, the world, nay, the solar system, nay, the galaxy, nay the…well, you get the idea.

 

However, in the case of that glorified assemblage of barns in Corvallis that is sometimes referred to as a college campus, we don’t worry about such trivialities like giving away football secrets. The reason is obvious: we know that those silly rodent worshippers can never in our lifetimes lay even one buck tooth on our Ducks.

 

With that comforting truth uppermost in mind, we are happy to offer our homely, third-rate cousins this compilation of the

 

Top 10 Ways to Create an Enhanced Fan Experience at Reser Stadium

 

10.  Stop putting rat meat in the “Beaver Dogs.”

 

  9.   Rename the stadium after a more sophisticated sponsor, like that place in Philomath that rebuilds tractor motors.

 

  8.   Enhance the talent at quarterback, back-up quarterback, running back, tight end, wide receiver, offensive tackle, right guard, left guard, center, safety, cornerback, inside linebacker, outside linebacker, defensive line, kicker and punter, kickoff returner and punt returner, coaching, recruiting, scoreboard operator, concessionaires (get rid of that really rude lady from Lebanon), ticket takers, and parking-lot attendants.

 

  7.  Schedule a game against West Albany High School, so the Beavers can score a touchdown.

 

  6.  “Free Mayonnaise” night.

 

  5.  Allow fans to tear down goal posts before the game, since the Beavers will lose anyway.

 

  4.  Move Reser to Fiji.

 

  3.  Donate Benny Beaver to a medical-research lab.

 

  2.  Replace chainsaw sound effect with something less annoying, like a dentist drill or a jackhammer.

 

  1.  Bus the fans to Autzen Stadium.

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On 4/2/2022 at 10:47 AM, Axel said:

9.   Rename the stadium after a more sophisticated sponsor, like that place in Philomath that rebuilds tractor motors.

Damn! It must not be very sophisticated, as we have lived here 33 years, and I have yet to become aware of it. 😛

 

But then again, no one has ever associated me with intricacy.

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Guest Axel
On 4/2/2022 at 1:32 PM, ICamel said:

It must not be very sophisticated, as we have lived here 33 years, and I have yet to become aware of it. 😛

The place in question is indeed a bit unsophisticated—they think a website is something that calls for an exterminator, and they just got indoor plumbing last year—yet they still exceed the sophistication of the present sponsor which makes that goopy macaroni salad that we all hate.

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I feel so much shame. I have two nieces who are (that have? No, no don't go there) Beavers ...(Need more therapy) ...

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