Key Facts That You Never Wanted to Know About Utah State

[Guest Axel]

IT'S (one of) THE NCAA GAME(s) OF THE YEAR!

 

Oregon at Utah State in the NIT!

 

Tip-off: Circa 6:00 p.m. Pacific Daylight Time/7:00 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time (listed here as a public service to those unfortunate souls languishing in that forgotten time zone)

 

TV coverage: ESPN

 

The last time that Utah State won a game in the NIT was during the Eisenhower Administration.

 

In its last eight NIT games, Utah State has won as many of those games as Ty Willingham’s Huskies won in 2008. (Yes, I know that was a long way to get in another dig against Washington, but it was worth it.)

 

The first, last, and only time that the Ducks lost to Utah State the #1 TV show was Bonanza. Lorne Green, as far as we know, did not attend that game. The Ducks are 5-1 against Utah State all-time, according to the Deseret News.

 

Aggies, the nickname for Utah State, is short for Agriculturalists. A hundred years ago, USU athletes were unofficially called the Farmers.

 

We all agree that Aggies is not a great nickname. However, we concede that it is better than the UC Irvine Anteaters and the Rhode Island School of Design Nads, where the official mascot is named Scrotie and looks like a, em, er, never mind. (We are not making this up, and as Yogi Berra famously said, “You can look it up.”)

 

The Evergreen State Geoducks is another terrible nickname. But what do you expect? They’re in Washington, the state capital no less.

 

Ryan Odom is the first-year coach at Utah State, which finished the regular season at 18-15, not great, but astoundingly better than the Oregon State Beavers’ laughable 3-28, and why not deliver a swift, hard cheap shot to those miserable rodents?

 

Utah State lured Odom away from that powerhouse of powerhouses, the America East Conference, where he compiled a 157-97 record at the University of Maryland-Baltimore County.

 

At UMBC, Odom beat up on such heavyweights as Massachusetts-Lowell, Binghamton, and the New Jersey Institute of Technology, better known as the NJIT Highlanders. Yes, there really is such a place; as far as we know NJIT has turned out far fewer stellar athletes than say, Sheldon High School.

 

NJIT is ranked academically way, way below Stanford and Cal, and in our omnipotent unbiased opinion, stupendously higher than the University of Washington.

 

When asked about tonight’s game versus the Ducks, Odom said, “Our metrics are our metrics. The numbers are our numbers.” He said some other things, but they are just cliches, and you can probably guess them.

 

Supposedly, the best Aggies basketball player is some guy named Bean. They apparently weren't able to recruit Rutabaga. We don't know if Summer Squash plays on the USU women's team. 

 

One of the best weapons in the arsenal of the Utah State Aggies is a map. The school is secreted away in an area that not even geography majors, let alone NCAA basketball teams, can locate it on an atlas.

  

According to official Utah State sources, the university is situated in Logan, Utah, wherever that is. Logan is the seat of Cache County, wherever the hell that is, and the Aggies play in the Smith Spectrum, not to be confused with the Jones Spectrum, and God only knows where that is.

 

This may explain why the Aggies are five-point favorites in tonight’s game. The odds may well shift in the Ducks' favor, if they can find the arena.

Edited March 15, 2022 by Axel

[Haywarduck]

My top ten, such good writing I thought it deserved a top ten!

 

1.) In its last eight NIT games, Utah State has won as many of those games as Ty Willingham’s Huskies won in 2008. (Yes, I know that was a long way to get in another dig against Washington, but it was worth it.)

 

2.) Ryan Odom is the first-year coach at Utah State, which finished the regular season at 18-15, not great, but astoundingly better than the Oregon State Beavers’ laughable 3-28, and why not deliver a swift, hard cheap shot to those miserable rodents?

 

3.) When asked about tonight’s game versus the Ducks, Odom said, “Our metrics are our metrics. The numbers are our numbers.” He said some other things, but they are just cliches, and you can probably guess them. 

 

4.) Supposedly, the best Aggies basketball player is some guy named Bean. They apparently weren't able to recruit Rutabaga. We don't know if Summer Squash plays on the USU women's team. 

  

5.)This may explain why the Aggies are five-point favorites in tonight’s game. The odds may well shift in the Ducks' favor, if they can find the arena.

 

6.) At UMBC, Odom beat up on such heavyweights as Massachusetts-Lowell, Binghamton, and the New Jersey Institute of Technology, better known as the NJIT Highlanders. Yes, there really is such a place; as far as we know NJIT has turned out far fewer stellar athletes than say, Sheldon High School. 

 

7.) We all agree that Aggies is not a great nickname. However, we concede that it is better than the UC Irvine Anteaters and the Rhode Island School of Design Nads, where the official mascot is named Scrotie and looks like a, em, er, never mind. (We are not making this up, and as Yogi Berra famously said, “You can look it up.”)

 

8.) The first, last, and only time that the Ducks lost to Utah State the #1 TV show was Bonanza. Lorne Green, as far as we know, did not attend that game. The Ducks are 5-1 against Utah State all-time, according to the Deseret News. 

 

9.) The last time that Utah State won a game in the NIT was during the Eisenhower Administration.

 

10.) IT'S (one of) THE NCAA GAME(s) OF THE YEAR!

 

[Charles Fischer]

Axel...I and my Cat GIFS bow to your humor...we love it!

 

[EastBayDuckDad]

Not to whizz in the cornflakes, but USU coach Odom was at UMBC in 2018 when they engineered a historic first round defeat of #1 Virginia as a #16 seed in the NCAA Tournament. So the guy can coach.

[The Kamikaze Kid]

On 3/15/2022 at 11:32 AM, EastBayDuckDad said:

Not to whizz in the cornflakes, but USU coach Odom was at UMBC in 2018 when they engineered a historic first round defeat of #1 Virginia as a #16 seed in the NCAA Tournament. So the guy can coach.

Luckily our MMB cornflakes we’re already whizzed on a few games back!

[Guest Axel]

On 3/15/2022 at 11:32 AM, EastBayDuckDad said:

Not to whizz in the cornflakes, but USU coach Odom was at UMBC in 2018 when they engineered a historic first round defeat of #1 Virginia as a #16 seed in the NCAA Tournament.

Ryan Odom is indeed the coach who masterminded that classic upset of #16 UMBC over #1 Virginia. Notably, UMBC did not win that game in a one- or two-point fluke. Odom’s team obliterated Virginia, 74-54.

 

By rights, I should have included this historic win in my fact list. If I were an ethical and fair person, I would have even bumped it to the top of the list. This is a college win to shout about, savor, and celebrate until the stars all burn away, isn’t it?

 

Not so fast. Fate intervened and sent this little tidbit to the cutting-room floor.

 

I learned that UMBC’s nickname is the Retrievers, and with apologies to no one, I’m not about to give credit to any dawg school.

 

You know, on second thought, that game wasn’t such a big deal after all. I bet the refs screwed Virginia.