Well, since we’re going down the home stretch of spring sports, headed for the doldrums of Summer, thought I’d toss a nice fat one over the plate for the amusement of all, or at least some.

 

     The backyard fence-feuding between Saban and Fisher got me thinking about one of my all-time favorite sports quote meisters, former Florida State HC Bill Peterson. Here’s a couple of his more legendary utterings:

 

     “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.”

 

     “You guys line up alphabetically by height.”

 

     And, can’t start this ball rolling without at least one Yogism:

 

     “I really didn’t say everything I said.”

 

     So, there you go. Balls in your court if you’ve got one to offer.

 

 

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades."   
- Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State 

 

"We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking."     
-  John McKay / USC  

Favorite of all time was when Steve Spurrier heard about a fire in the Auburn library that destroyed about 20 books:

 

"The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet."

 

Now that's funny.

Ralph Miller - "That's the way the old pickle squirts"

“I didn’t quite understand the Notre Dame deal. But, obviously I have not been a student of the BCS.”   Mike Belloti

 

Notre Dame happens to be 0 - 8 in BCS and NY6 games since the 1994 Cotton Bowl. 

John McKay again, with my favorite, when he was the coach at Tampa Bay

 

What do you think of your team's execution, Coach?

I think it's a fine idea.

 

Along with his laughable Southern accent, new LSU coach, Brian Kelly also messed this up. 

 

 

 

 

"All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'"- Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher

 

Notre Dame Press Conference: "Coach Holtz....how do you sleep at night with the brutal schedule the Irish have this fall?"

 

Coach Lou Holtz: "I sleep like a baby....I wake up every two hours and cry!"

 

Edited May 22, 20223 yr by Bathtub Ducky

"When they operated, I told them to add in a Koufax fastball. They did, but unfortunately it was Mrs. Koufax's."- Tommy John , N.Y. Yankees, recalling his 1974 arm surgery

 

'If you not first, your last.'  Ricky Bobby, oh real sports quotes. 

 

'If you not first the view never changes' sled dog. 

 

And the best, 

 

“Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.” Vince Lombardi

 

 

No body gos to that restaurant anymore it’s too crowded.

"right hand or left, it doesn't matter, I'm amphibious."

 

Charles Shackleford - N.C. State

 

"I don't know, man, I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian."

 

Mike Tyson

If you love the Ducks, you hate the Huskies, and this will bring a smile to your face forever...

 

“Huard--gonna go back to throw the ball…sets up, looks, throws toward the corner of the end zone, it is...intercepted! Intercepted! The Ducks have the ball! Down to the thirty-five, the forty!

 

“Kenny Wheaton’s gonna score! Kenny Wheaton is gonna score! Twenty…touchdown! Touchdown! Kenny Wheaton! On the interception! The most improbable finish to a football game!”

                                                                                                                       --Jerry Allen, October 22, 1994

Jerry Coleman, a former Padres announcer, had a slew of malaprops.  In fact, he was almost as famous for them as Yogi.  My favorite has always been....

 

"He slid into second base standing up!"

 

And for those of you that have ever watched some thoroughbred racing, this from Michael Wrona at Golden Gate Fields (Bay Area)...speaking about the stretch run of the leader of a race....

 

"He's hanging on like granny's last tooth!"

For years and years, we’ve all been grandly delighted by Jerry Allen’s tremendous call of “The Pick.” I’ve personally watched and listened to the replay of Kenny Wheaton’s fabulous interception 1,346,822 times.

 

But what about the call on the losing side? How did the hapless Huskies announcer describe “The Pick?” Wouldn’t it be fun to know?

 

Good news! My trusty intern Scoop Johanson has found a copy of the Husky broadcast and he’s transcribed that crucial play here for your reading pleasure…

 

“Well, here it comes, ladies and gentlemen. And what a great sight it is. A marvelous sight…and now…it’s burst into flames!

 

“It’s crashing. This is terrible! This is one of the worst catastrophes in the world! It’s a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen, and it’s all smashing to the ground.

 

 “It’s a smoking wreckage. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed. Oh, the humanity!”

"It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course."  Hank Aaron

"Float like a butterfly sting like a bee". Muhammad Ali. 

 

With this new rule we might as well put QBs in tutus. Jack Lambert LB Pittsburgh Steelers.

 

I eat people like you for lunch. Can't remember who said it

I didn't bet on baseball. 

I didnt bet on the Reds. Pete Rose

     Love malaprops. Here’s one attributed to Joe Theisman, “The word genius isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”