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Guest Axel

Colin Cowherd--No Friend to the Ducks or the Pac-12

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Guest Axel

I rarely watch the sports talk shows—too much nonsense and not enough substance. However, I was curious to see how Colin Cowherd would justify the deathblow that L.A.’s dirty duo delivered to the 10 other Pac-12 schools.

 

Alas, Cowherd was on vacation yesterday and filling in for him was one of the new faces in TV sports journalism, Joy Taylor, a 2009 graduate of Barry University, and we have absolutely no idea if this is a real or pretend institution. After watching Taylor yesterday morning, my bet is on “pretend.”

 

The dum-dums who run sports networks have a formula for capturing an audience of over-testosteroned 25- to 45-year-old males: shove in front of the camera any reasonable-looking over-bosomed female who will happily parrot the corporate line.

 

And this is what Fox has in Joy Taylor. In addition to all of her other necessary attributes, Taylor brings one more: lip gloss. Lots of it. So much lip gloss, in fact, that you could wax your Chevy Blazer with it and still have enough left over to polish the coffee table in your living room.

 

The lead story of the day wasn’t the backstabbing administered by USC and its soulless lapdog UCLA. Apparently, NBA star Kevin Durant wants to leave Brooklyn. I don’t know why this is news. Ninety-nine percent of Brooklyn should want to be leaving Brooklyn.

 

USC and UCLA was story number two, but Taylor told us they were not the villains that we thought they were. No, no. Far from it.

 

“It’s okay to change,” Taylor demurred through those glassy, gleaming, glistening lips. “It’s okay to pivot. It’s okay to grow.” Who’s pivoting? Who’s growing? Certainly not the Pac-12. And definitely not member schools like Oregon State or Washington State.

 

Taylor—and her corporatist bosses at Fox—care not a whit about the 10 Pac-12 schools choking on the dust from the departure of USC and UCLA. As Taylor explained, “This is a great opportunity for both of these schools to become more visible.”

 

Ah, yes. USC with Lincoln Riley and UCLA with Chip Kelly were suffering from a lack of visibility.

 

For those who might object to the callous disregard exhibited by the two L.A. schools, Taylor offers this trite reminder: “The one thing in life that is absolutely guaranteed is change.”

 

You can glean more compassion from a foreclosure notice, but you’ve missed the main point. It’s okay to pivot and it’s okay to grow, as long as you’re the 1,000-pound gorilla in the room.

 

Taylor praised the USC and UCLA duplicity as “a massive move not just for the football teams, but for all the other student athletes who participate in sports at both of their schools.” She further blathered, “this is all about more opportunities for the student athletes…after all that’s what college sports are supposed to do.”

 

But wait. A couple of hours later, a real sports analyst, Paul Finebaum, on the SEC Network, posited the exact opposite opinion.

 

With biting sarcasm, he said, “I’m just gratified that the leaders of college athletics care so much about the student athletes and their mental well-being that they’re going to put softball players on a plane in California to go to Piscataway for a weekend series with Rutgers.

 

“This is about money, pure and simple. Don’t let any college commissioner or president tell you otherwise. They’re a greedy bunch. That’s what they care about and the students who happen to play athletics are the pawn in this big prize.”

 

We know that Fox Sports played a malicious role in the USC-UCLA defection to the Big Ten. So it was pure fantasy to think that I’d hear anything sensible from a Fox shill, which is exactly what Joy Taylor is. But now we also know beyond all doubt that behind her shimmering lip gloss and over-accentuated curves, there is not much there there.

 

For the record, I did track down Colin Cowherd on his podcast, which I heartily recommend for everyone to ignore. Cowherd is the number-one shill for Fox Sports on Mother Earth and he does not fail his corporate masters.

 

In the wake of the treachery committed by USC and UCLA, he gushes, “I am more excited for the future of college football than ever before. It is wonderful to me for everybody.

 

“College football is pruning its tree and the very best are joining the very best.”

 

Cowherd has obviously had his brain pruned. Referring to UCLA as one of the very best football programs is pure idiocy, and no team in the Big Ten, except for Ohio State, is anything close to being the very best. Furthermore, in light of its recent gridiron mediocrity, referring to USC as one of the very best is akin to calling Mario Cristobal one of the game’s elite offensive geniuses.

 

Cowherd threw shade on the Ducks, saying that a UCLA-Ohio State matchup is a much better game than UCLA-Oregon.

 

Then he threw shades, window blinds, and the entire house on the Beavers: “Ooh, I’m going to lose out on some UCLA-Oregon State games. I wasn’t watching them anyway.”

 

But fellow Duck friends, this is what we’re up against. Corporate America trampling over beloved tradition and airheaded bootlickers like Joy Taylor and Colin Cowherd taking to the airwaves to tell us how marvelous it all is.

 

Taylor and Cowherd gave no quarter to the thousands of student athletes and millions of fans in the Pac-12 whose livelihoods and happiness have been devastated by the ten-megaton bomb that has been leveled on us. There’s a simple reason for that, of course. They simply don’t care.

 

In the past, I have been relentless in my lampooning and ridiculing of our rival to the North, the Washington Huskies. I have teased unmercifully our in-state rival, the Oregon State Beavers. Now, I believe it’s time for us to close ranks and turn our total focus to the demonic double-dealers in our midst—the University of Snakes and Cretins and the University of Clueless Losers and Asshats.

 

These are two perfidious institutions, and henceforth I will refer to them as US&C and UCL&A.

 

What these two vile, scumbag schools have done is malevolent and unforgivable. We must find ways to fight them, we must do all we can to undermine them, and at all costs, we must find ways to defeat them.

 

And as for Joy Taylor and Colin Cowherd, that’s an easy one. I’ll just tune those morons out. They are textbook examples of the age-old axiom that some people will do anything for money.

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You reported on and said a lot more important stuff, but this made me laugh out loud:

 

In addition to all of her other necessary attributes, Taylor brings one more: lip gloss. Lots of it. So much lip gloss, in fact, that you could wax your Chevy Blazer with it and still have enough left over to polish the coffee table in your living room.

 

Interesting how ESPN and FOX applaud what their money helps to achieve.

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Axel, you are one fine writer.  Thanks for the great and entertaining read. 

 

Do you write for a living?  If not...why not?!

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Guest Axel

Thank you, Mudslide, for your kind words. I do write for a living, and I owe much of my success to the University of Oregon where I attained a master's degree in journalism.

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On 7/2/2022 at 1:04 PM, Axel said:

It’s okay to pivot and it’s okay to grow, as long as you’re the 1,000-pound gorilla in the room.

Groan.  So true, and if they don't get their way--they have the mic and can shout down everyone else.  Not only is what Axel wrote true, but he is actually nicer to the Suck-Up media than I would be.

 

They are despicable. 

 

(Another EPIC post Axel!)

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Mr. FishDuck

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To summarize via snark from other corners of the Interwebs “I listen to Collin Cowherd so you don’t have to”

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On 7/2/2022 at 1:04 PM, Axel said:

 

“College football is pruning its tree and the very best are joining the very best.”

I agree, Axel that UCLA being included with the "best" is ridiculous and USC hasn't been in that category for some time. But the sentiment is pure Cow... if he'd been in charge on the Titanic, forget "women and children first" it would have been, 'What's in your wallet?"

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Well, UCLA and USC are among the top three in the entire NCAA for National Championships in all sports.

Mr. FishDuck

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Simply an excellent and funny article! 

 

On 7/2/2022 at 1:04 PM, Axel said:

Cowherd has obviously had his brain pruned.

So, so true. 

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Axel one of your best. Some great lines!

 

I would like to see the Ducks stay in a new version of the PAC12 and maybe add Boise State, San Diego State, or Fresno State. Having the Ducks play across the country to get some added TV dollars just isn't worth it. Plus, what a bummer for the players to fly to road games in the Antarctica to freeze their balls off in the middle of winter.

 

Let's see ... away game at San Diego State or Wisconsin in December! I like away games where I can play some golf and have a few beers. Curling just doesn't have the same appeal to me. Plus, do we want to dine on Lutefisk in Minnesota or enjoy some Pinot Noir and Gruyere cheese while tailgating at Stanford. 

 

This whole thing is a joke with no regard for the athletes or the fans.

 

 

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They wanted UCL&A not for FB but BB. US&C for FB but mainly for getting into la la land for recruiting and more money from TV.  Make no mistake about it. The Cali Boys will rue the day.

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Yeah, Cowturd constantly makes me want to violate FishDuck's word not to use. 

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His name is perfect. He has the intellect of a Cow and only runs with the herd. Colin coward is the ultimate loud mouth beta male. He is all ego and devoid of actual intellect. Listening to him is worse than fingernails on a blackboard. 

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I don't really begrudge USC and UCLA for bolting. I'm just a bit miffed Oregon and Washington weren't included in the backroom deal. I'm holding out some small hope that the Big 10 made a safe bet thinking USC and UCLA would agree to secretly leave the PAC, and that by getting USC they can rope Notre Dame into the mix, and from there add Oregon and Washington to complete things. Essentially, I'm hoping we're part of the bait. 

 

If the Big 10 initially only asked us and USC to leave, I'd expect Rob Mullens to take that in a heartbeat or resign immediately.   

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On 7/2/2022 at 4:46 PM, 2002duck said:

I don't really begrudge USC and UCLA for bolting. I'm just a bit miffed Oregon and Washington weren't included in the backroom deal. I'm holding out some small hope that the Big 10 made a safe bet thinking USC and UCLA would agree to secretly leave the PAC, and that by getting USC they can rope Notre Dame into the mix, and from there add Oregon and Washington to complete things. Essentially, I'm hoping we're part of the bait. 

 

If the Big 10 initially only asked us and USC to leave, I'd expect Rob Mullens to take that in a heartbeat or resign immediately.   

Word on the street us the LA schools approached the B1G first. Kept it secret till they announced the other day. Word on the street is USC did it to hurt Oregon. Shady!

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Can UCL&A even do this without legislative approval?  As a state university, it is going to cost bukku bucks to compete in basketball, track & field, and baseball (M & W).

 

Aren't they a sister university to the University of California Berkeley?  What happens to that relationship?
 

Also, why is nobody mentioning the Rose Bowl?  Isn’t it connected the the PAC?

 

Just asking my “whole lot smarter than me” Duck buddies, cause I  sure as hades don’t know… 

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On 7/2/2022 at 4:53 PM, Log Haulin said:

Word on the street us the LA schools approached the B1G first. Kept it secret till they announced the other day. Word on the street is USC did it to hurt Oregon. Shady!

The last time I was roaming the streets the scuttlebutt was that FOX proposed the idea to the Big 10 and USC/UCLA simultaneously. 

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On 7/2/2022 at 5:09 PM, PittDuck said:

Also, why is nobody mentioning the Rose Bowl?  Isn’t it connected the the PAC?

 

 

What's "the PAC"? It rings a bell, but I don't really remember what it was. It's been too long. But seriously, in the worst case scenario where Oregon does not join the BIG-10, the Rose Bowl will most likely not feature the PAC vs. the BIG-10 because the BIG-10 stabbed the PAC in the back. There are hard feelings. The Rose Bowl will probably be rotated into the Playoff rotation, and it might also feature a PAC school (if the PAC exists, which it won't if Oregon and Washington leave) versus an at-large team or a team from any conference except for the BIG-10.

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On 7/2/2022 at 5:12 PM, 2002duck said:

The last time I was roaming the streets the scuttlebutt was that FOX proposed the idea to the Big 10 and USC/UCLA simultaneously. 

That is plausible as well. It's why I called it scuttlebutt. We might never know how it kicked off. USC has always been shady. They are still trying to be resurrected after the Carroll death blow.

 

. You don't really seem like a "roaming the streets" kinda guy, but while you are out there, keep your ear to the pavement and let us know if you hear anymore scuttlebutt.

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On 7/2/2022 at 2:12 PM, Charles Fischer said:

Well, UCLA and USC are among the top three in the entire NCAA for National Championships in all sports.

 I believe Stanford is number 1 and I don’t see that school panicking like we seem to be.

 

Just my opinion but I can’t see either school being able to compete in the lesser sports. They will flounder like a 4 year old in a wadding pool. Do some of those schools even have a pool or is it just ice rinks.

 

 I surely don’t think either school will do better at recruiting in their own state in football for the simple reason of playing in miserable weather for 3 or 4  years when living in Cali. all their lives. I think the SEC and maybe the Florida schools will benefit from this and so will other schools in the south west.

 

 I think both schools will become irrelevant in over half of their sports within 2 to 3 years because of travel issues. I see talent jumping ship in the transfer portal soon. If I were remaining schools west of the Mississippi I would jump all over this issue. 

 

 Wanna play dirty well so should the rest of us.

 

 There are still many issues to consider but as far as I’m concerned both schools are dead to me no matter what happens.

Edited by Just Ducky
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On 7/2/2022 at 7:10 PM, Log Haulin said:

let us know if you hear anymore scuttlebutt.

Well, my uncle was the Blazers beat writer for 20 years for the Oregonian, but they pulled a USC/BIG-10/FOX on him and gave him the slip. He helped get the Portland Tribune get started, and was the sports editor there for ten years or so, but we all know what happens to editor positions in print these days. Needless to say, I haven't had a good "source" in a long time. But I did grow up in Washington, D.C. in the 80's, so I've seen my share of both high-level scuttlebutt and low-life street life. Nowadays I just go to Reddit for up-to-the-minute news and discourse, and then on to fishduck.com for voices of reason. 

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On 7/2/2022 at 2:27 PM, LADuck said:

Axel one of your best. Some great lines!

 

I would like to see the Ducks stay in a new version of the PAC12 and maybe add Boise State, San Diego State, or Fresno State. Having the Ducks play across the country to get some added TV dollars just isn't worth it. Plus, what a bummer for the players to fly to road games in the Antarctica to freeze their balls off in the middle of winter.

 

Let's see ... away game at San Diego State or Wisconsin in December! I like away games where I can play some golf and have a few beers. Curling just doesn't have the same appeal to me. Plus, do we want to dine on Lutefisk in Minnesota or enjoy some Pinot Noir and Gruyere cheese while tailgating at Stanford. 

 

This whole thing is a joke with no regard for the athletes or the fans.

 

 

LA, you realize that what you say about Wisconsin could also be said for a November game in the Palouse. At least Wisconsin is the home of Culver's, the finest frozen custard/burger place in the land.

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On 7/2/2022 at 8:02 PM, Duckpop22 said:

LA, you realize that what you say about Wisconsin could also be said for a November game in the Palouse. At least Wisconsin is the home of Culver's, the finest frozen custard/burger place in the land.

True but its a lot closer-just sayin

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On 7/2/2022 at 7:29 PM, Just Ducky said:

both schools are dead to me no matter what happens.

That's really too bad. I think UCLA got massaged into all of this. At heart, they are a soft school athletically. A nicer term would be "finessed" or "elegant". These days they win in sports that don't matter, and their legacy is built upon winning in the important sports when nobody was really trying. Some professional athletes still got drunk playing in most major sports even in the 90's. UCLA is hapless. They got a break here. Don't blame them. Just my opinion. Also, I hope ever so dearly that Oregon bolts, and I'd hope people wouldn't begrudge us for doing so. 

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I think it's clear Fox is happy USC and UCLA are in the BIG10... and ESPN isn't.

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On 7/2/2022 at 7:44 PM, 2002duck said:

fishduck.com for voices of reason

Thank you for that, as I love the savvy community on FishDuck, people like you.

Mr. FishDuck

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On 7/2/2022 at 9:18 PM, Mike West said:

I think it's clear Fox is happy USC and UCLA are in the BIG10... and ESPN isn't

That's how it works. It's like dating 101. The next-best thing often turns out to be the biggest jewel of them all. 

leo.gif

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All about the money.  Fox and ESPN are pulling the strings here behind the scenes like a puppet master.   Unfortunately we are all caught up in it now like a giant whirlpool.  Going to be interesting to see how this all plays out.    

 

IMO,  this is just the beginning.  The SEC hasn't made it's move yet and the ACC is cowering over on the east coast hoping nobody notices them. 

 

The Big-12 is looking at the scraps of the Pac-12 thinking there are a few tasty morsels they would like to get a hold of.  


I don't know what the rest of the Pac-12 is thinking right now outside of Oregon & Washington.  Are they checking in with the Big-12?  Frantically calling the Big-10?  reaching out to the Mountain West?

 

Lastly where does Amazon fit into all this do they jump in here and try to make a play?? 

 

So many questions, my brain is spinning..

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