From Banned OBD Members: "Impulse Control is HARD!" (Your Feedback?)

[Charles Fischer]

My FishDuck Friends, you would not believe the stuff people write and that you never see.  Our moderators are catch offending posts immediately, and thus you are spared from even having to read the nonsense, which is one of my major goals for this forum. Highbrow, peaceful, pondering posts...one after another as we learn from each other.  Duck Heaven.

 

Moderators hide the posts from public view, and then I deal with the offenders from there.  In my conversations both by email and on the phone--what I hear often is, "what I read is so wrong (in his view) that I had to respond the way I did."

 

I explain we all have a huge adaption period of dialing down the aggression, as it is not needed or allowed in this forum.  "But Charles, I just had to respond the way I did!" And then I remind them that yours-truly has written over 500 articles and created instructional videos viewed over two million times...that I know a little about football and the Oregon program. 

 

You are NOT the Only One...

 

And I see posts written every day that I massively disagree with and have to use major Impulse Control to keep from breaking four rules in one response post.  The point is...we ALL have to exercise so much more impulse control here than any site we've been on.

 

Usually, the offenders will apologize and pledge to adapt, and I lift the ban and they are great members of this forum.  They just had to realize the amount of impulse control needed is all.

 

Every post is read and checked by more than one moderator, and posts are being deleted every day and people are being banned every week.  (Two in one day recently) Some people cannot control themselves, or insist that I could create an exception for their exalted viewpoint. (Good luck with that!)

 

The point is....the objective of the moderators and I is to give everyone reading a great experience when you read Oregon Sports news here, along with all the varied opinions of this savvy OBD membership.  And to give those OBD members writing these great posts absolute safety from the nastiness of the world.

 

How Tough Has it Been for YOU?

 

As the originator of this forum and the rules...I admit to needing HUGE impulse control at times.  What about you?  Has it been tough to adapt?  And is it still challenging after being in here for a while?  I would love the feedback to help me inform newbies better, and make the transition easier....  Any advice you have about adapting--please post here or email charles@fishduck.com

 

 

                My Sincere Thanks!

[Log Haulin]

On 12/24/2021 at 9:10 AM, Log Haulin said:

Forgive my ignorance. Relatively new here. Keep seeing OBD. Can you explain?

Nevermind, "our beloved Ducks"  so it seems

[Smith72]

When comments are being posted fast and furious it is difficult sometimes to control my reactions!  But thanks to the structure and safety of this forum I delete before posting.

 

"Upon further review the post is overturned."  I have saved myself a lot of grief by reading my post before the summit reply button is pressed.

 

Thanks Charles for a polite and civil place where I can read and discuss Our Beloved Ducks!

[1Ducker1]

I find myself making adjustments from time to time. Ive let a "few" boo boos slip.

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 9:10 AM, Log Haulin said:

Forgive my ignorance. Relatively new here. Keep seeing OBD. Can you explain?

 

The term, Our Beloved Ducks, comes from shooting the second instructional video over ten years ago...as we were filming it just rolled off my lips and was not scripted.  It sounded so natural that we not only kept it but made it the closing phrase of the remaining 40+ videos and it made sense to name the forum from what earnestly comes from my heart.

 

Below it is qued up to start at the end of the video where I stated it for the first time.  (It runs for a few seconds is all)

 

 

[Log Haulin]

Thanks for the excellent job keeping politics off the board. Nothing will turn off fans faster than politics seeping in. So thanks.

[latracey]

As I become more familiar with the rules over time, I find it easy to abide by them. There are plenty of forums where almost anything goes which is why I find myself not even bothering with most of them anymore. I really appreciate coming here where intelligence, kindness, and respect rule the day. There really is no better forum available to fans passionate about Duck sports in my humble opinion.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of my fellow Duck fans far and wide. We have many blessings and much gratitude to celebrate.

[Just Ducky]

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 9:28 AM, Log Haulin said:

Thanks for the excellent job keeping politics off the board. Nothing will turn off fans faster than politics seeping in. So thanks.

 

Thanks, as I've had to deal with that twice in the last three days alone.  Sometimes it is subtle, and other times quite overt.  The heck of it is....many of the political comments made--I agree with!  But whatever is written offends half the readers, and destroys the atmosphere of the forum.  I will not allow that...

 

I have a document of actual "Political" examples posted here and whew!  Quite a few.  Hug a moderator!

[1Ducker1]

 FishDuck for me is a place to escape the issues of the day. I appreciate that!

[Washington Waddler]

     Put a face to the names you see on this forum; don’t treat others here with the same anonymous approach as you would on other sites. See them, and treat them with respect as you would yourself.

 

     Think of it as if you were a kid sitting around a family dining room table with your other brothers and sisters learning how to converse with each other in a civil manner. At times, your older sibs (moderators) might give you the eye when they think you should shut-up.  And, if you can’t control yourself, then FishDuck — sitting at the head of the table — is there to send you to your room for a well earned time out and think about what you said. 

 

     Simple, but effective.

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 9:43 AM, Washington Waddler said:

And, if you can’t control yourself, then FishDuck — sitting at the head of the table — is there to send you to your room for a well earned time out and think about what you said. 

 

You made me truly laugh-out-loud!  It reminds me of about two years ago a Greybeard-age member was consoling a young fellow who just joined and ran afowl of the rules.  He told him..."its OK, as you'll learn...I've had my hand slapped too!"  That made me wince, but...what do you do?  Either enforce the rules or don't have them!

[30Duck]

On 12/24/2021 at 9:43 AM, Washington Waddler said:

 Simple, but effective.

 

 You nailed it. Family, community, whatever you want to call it, is what we have here. Those other sites are just walls for posters to spray their graffiti on

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 9:19 AM, 1Ducker1 said:

I find myself making adjustments from time to time. I've let a "few" boo boos slip.

 

it is admirable that you would admit that in public, and goes to show how gracious you have been with me.  And now you are a core member of this community, so thanks for putting up with "the" emails!

[HappyToBeADuck]

Charles and forum members

 

Merry Christmas..........

 

And once again and always, thank you Charles, writers, moderators and contributors for this wonderful, safe haven. It's a one of a kind.

 

I don't think I have a problem with being kind and considerate, so this forum and the rules are easy to follow and enjoy. I was raised by and taught from a national union negotiator. A master at seeing both sides of the discussion. Here's some of his advice:

 

Always remember you are a guest in all doors you walk thru except your own.

 

I consider myself a guest on this forum. IMHO, we are all guests on this forum. When I am invited to someone's home, as a guest, I am on my best behavior. I treat the host(est) and their guests with respect and kindness. I am not more important than anyone that was invited. Nor are my thoughts and opinions.

 

There will always be more than one opinion. Usually multiple opinions... Listen intently with respect. You have 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. Be informed before you speak. Openly admit when you are mistaken or wrong.

 

I try to recognize that the party that is this forum is a house full of Charles guests.  Multiple view points are expected and welcome.. I would never berate, belittle or try to show up one of his quests. We have the huskies and beavs for that. All opinions are worthy of thought and consideration. I hope that other forum members give me the same courtesy. The multiple view points have helped me change my opinions. Not just sometimes but many times I am wrong. That was easy.

 

Most important advice was to never show or say anything in anger or too harshly. The world may look different in the morning.

 

I never hit submit reply or send until I proof read my typed words. I respectfully take out any direct harshness directed to a writer or commentator. I don't have the right as a guest to purposely hurt the writer or guest. Nor would I ever touch the keyboard while drinking, excessively. More wisdom next morning even with a hangover......

 

Best advice as always came from my Mother. If you can't say something nice then don't say it at all.

 

Does that need any explaining?

 

There are so many sites to express anger and show one's superiority.  This isn't one of them. IMHO....

 

Hope I never hurt anyone on this site. It's truly one of a kind. Yes there are membership rules, but don't we think they are worth it?

 

Hope this post doesn't get banned?

[Duck 1972]

Don't know of any other way to think but, I guess so called, political. 

 

I grew up in a family where no topic was off the table literally my elders sat and discussed everything even getting mad at each other til the next time, no big deal.

 

I was so enthralled by it and couldn't wait till I was old enough to contribute. Sadly I never was and never been able to replicate it in my adult life.

 

So I apologize if I post something that is political as I don't see it as such or a bad thing. I really like Fishduck, and other than Google have no other options. 

 

Happy holidays to all and can't wait for the 29th even if we might get it handed to us in the game. We are so young and inexperienced. Any chance you can play helps. Later fellow Duck fans.

[Smith72]

Happy to be a Duck said, "Best advice as always came from my Mother. If you can't say something nice then don't say it at all."

 

I remember my mother saying the same thing!  Thanks!

[Washington Waddler]

On 12/24/2021 at 9:52 AM, Charles Fischer said:

Either enforce the rules or don't have them!

 

     What’s interesting about that is that when you do, and the contributor hears it, the payoff is that he or she has the chance to get past the raw emotion and see what they really wanted to say in the first place — and that can become a valuable contribution!

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 10:04 AM, HappyToBeADuck said:

It's truly one of a kind. Yes there are membership rules, but don't we think they are worth it?

 

That was a wonderful post that reminded me of how that what you wrote and what our rules really are is....a throw-back to the days of people always operating in a courteous way to each other.  Only now...it is being required to be in an online site.  And my mother said that to me too!

 

One OBD member told me that in some ways..."this is a massive sociological experiment, as you are trying to walk uphill against a strong societal headwind by insisting on decorum and civility...."

[Annie]

According to Miss Manners (my heroine!), courtesy and boundaries are still the guiding principles. I appreciate that this forum does a great job of adhering to that.

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 10:10 AM, Duck 1972 said:

So I apologize if I post something that is political as I don't see it as such or a bad thing.

 

It is a bad thing here.  You are a GREAT member of this community, and I do not want to discourage you from posting, but we do not allow..."reference of any kind to politics."  I am completing my document on "political" posts written on this forum for the moderators and when done--I will email it to you.  This way you can see tons of examples of what not to do, and it might be helpful.

 

I have had extensive experience dealing with the fallout associated with a seemingly benign political reference that escalated into a conflagration. There is no benefit to anyone; nobody's mind is changed, the damage to the atmosphere of the forum is extensive, and words are written and remembered that cannot be withdrawn.

 

Besides...this is an Oregon Sports site, and there are tons of political sites for discussion.

[Log Haulin]

What I find here is that posters seem to have a high football IQ. Observations and thought line, 99.9% of the time, are high quality and spur more thought. I always try stay inbounds and keep disciplined on the topic. Full disclosure,  I never read the rules. Don't need to if I stick to the topic with grace. Still miss Loother a bit but this is much better.

[jrw]

As one who was once called to the principal's office for throwing shade at fellow commenters, I have to hand it to Principal Fischer for creating a unique environment.

 

It's an environment that takes a lot of work to maintain, and a strong character from the leader. Like in almost everything (such as football), good leadership is critical, and we have it here.

 

It's not for everybody, but that's just fine. For example, we have no Loother (props to Log Haulin for the reference; I'd forgotten about that troll).

 

Merry Christmas to everyone!

[HappyToBeADuck]

It's so wise and Necessary to keep politics or any potential " Forum Launch Points" under control.

 

Normally I am long winded but this post has one point.  Hope you can take it under consideration. 

 

In the middle of the last century when the world was in three colors, black, white or gray ( especially TV sets) sports were just starting to creep on the small screen.

 

When my Father bought the first color TV set in our neighborhood an interesting thing happened.

 

Neighbors, friends and relatives came to our house to watch TV with us. Some brought dinner but ALL brought dessert. YUMMMMMMM

 

Sunday was special. With the formation of the AFL there was now 2 to 4 games on every Sunday. It was heaven. Food, family, neighbors and friends with a common goal.

 

The color TV Set. So it was football from 1-7 est. If the late afternoon game went past 7, well tough. (Look up Heidi Bowl) The networks cut to their National Night Time broadcasts. Walt Disney, Ed Sullivan Hour then Bonanza of Gun Smoke. Dad bought a 2nd color TV for the family room so you could choose between games and shows.

 

My fellow forum members it was a time I wish I could bring back. Sundays were wonderful.

 

2 things broke the fun up. By the time MNF came around most people had a color TV set in their own home.

 

The second was political talk. Gosh the anger and harshness was frightening to a child. Some Dads got banned. Moms rule......

 

No one is welcome in my Brothers home today unless you agree to his wife's politics. WTH. It only ends bad when politics get discussed. Don't you feel their are plenty of sites to argue endlessly and yet change no ones mind?

 

So in my family since the 1950's sports has been a safe haven. Politics a foolish venture into nothingness.

 

Thanks Charles and team for getting that aggravation to the curb.

[Haywarduck]

As we all know, it isn't what we do that is easy which defines us, it is what we do which we struggle with. FishDuck is a great place to work on better defining our inner self.

 

I have stated I struggle, at times, with coming off too harsh. I have to reflect on, is what I want to write going to have the impact I want, and sometimes I get it wrong. I appreciate the curious, and understanding family type atmosphere we have here.

 

It is a safe place to grow, and learn about what is socially acceptable, while sharing opinions, and feelings about our Ducks. In this day and age I am grateful to have a safe place!

[deschutesduck]

i just go visit a few other forums so i can see how quickly a thread gets completely derailed and winds up being no longer about sports and then remind myself of that when posting... not that i'm perfect... also just randomly stumbled on this right now and it made me laugh. 

 

[Jon Joseph]

Thanks Charles for this great Forum site.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to one and all. 

[DanLduck]

Merry Christmas fellow Duck fans!!

 

My rule of thumb is to ask myself, "who really wants to hear your opinion"?!

And as others have said, read what you wrote outloud before hitting send.

 

Charles, you have provided a format where I have learned so much about our Ducks and the game itself. Thank you!

People in my little circle of life consider me the "Duck expert" because of you and this site. lol

 

We are entering a new year, 2022, that is full of much hope for our Ducks, and also so much uncertainty. The great unknown. 

I look forward to enjoying this journey with all of you here on OBD forum.

I raise a toast to the continued success of this fabulous site and us members.

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 10:46 AM, jrw said:

It's not for everybody, but that's just fine.

 

Thank you jrw, for your kind comments.  And your sentence above?  It is precisely right-on, as I know that half the people out there will not tolerate my "rules" or any form of constraint, and I have the ugly emails for proof.  (They are in the...'You DO Suck' file...)

 

We keep gaining new GREAT new members all the time, thus no reason to have to put up with those who refuse to exercise Impulse Control, as they are a very small number who will not be missed.  I could name some banned names that you would recognize and be surprised, and recall that yes...you have not seen him post in a long time. And you won't because in the end...the rules remain as they are, and they made the decision to leave.

 

This is not for everybody, and I truly do not want everybody.  Just the nice people...

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 10:38 AM, Log Haulin said:

Observations and thought line, 99.9% of the time, are high quality and spur more thought.

 

This forum, people like you, are attracting others of quality.  Your thought above makes me feel great as...this is my mission, and it would appear we are on the right path.

 

BTW...the rules are up at the top below the logo, and right here.  Although they will be condensed in the near future, as there is too much "explanation" in the beginning.

[JDuck]

Merry Christmas everybody,  Go Ducks

[PittDuck]

As another long time FishDuck fan who had to be reminded not to throw shade, I have come to think of OBDF as a virtual ‘dinner table’ where we can share our Duck thoughts, hopes, dreams, and even nightmares!

 

My Dad’s firm rule was that you do not discuss religion or politics at the dinner table.  It always leads to a fight because people tend to think their way is THE ONLY WAY!  I too read my posts before posting, and have simply deleted several posts because they could be interpreted differently than intended.
 

My hat is off to you, Mr. FishDuck, for creating this safe haven for THE MOST KNOWLEDGABLE DUCK FANS on the planet to congregate with friends.

 

It is my wish that each of you and yours, have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Go Ducks!

[Duck1984]

Thank you Charles for the patience and editing when my observations on our favorite sport delve into religion or politics.

 

While I tend to type what I observe without interjecting my opinions, I accept that certain subjects have to be avoided for the sake of civility.

 

That said, my opinion is that MC was nothing more than a ego driven politician that preached loyalty sermons to his flock, then chased the almighty dollar to that hot humid place down South.

 

Edit as needed.

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 1:17 PM, Duck1984 said:

my opinion is that MC was nothing more than a ego driven politician that preached loyalty sermons to his flock, then chased the almighty dollar to that hot humid place down South.

 

It is your opinion, (above) of which everyone can state (and I want them to) and since Mario is no longer a current coach at Oregon, so we can say anything we want to about him.  (Goodness knows I have and will!)

 

Just a side note Duck1984...I am not everyone's "Editing-Maid," as I have too much to do as it is.  My process is...I edit once, (and let the member know) delete the second time, and if it goes from there we have a chat about the future.  The whole purpose of this thread was to ask for feedback about the difficulty with impulse control, not to condone it when it is not applied.

 

I provide the majority of the money and a boatload of hours to make this forum happen, and to keep it free.  Everyone has their part too...

[Duck1984]

Message understood Charles.  
 

Impulse control is as hard for me as it was for MC not to call for a dive play on third and long.

[Vandownbytheriverduck]

Charles is the Dean of students for Anonymous High School.
 

Freshmen usually move on to become seniors.
 

Some drop out some get expelled.

 

Some, like myself, get detention, suspension and our knuckles rapped. 
 

But Dean Fish loves his school and is always thinking of its reputation snd saving us students from ourselves. 
 

when is senior prank day?
 

Merry Christmas, Dean Wormer, I mean Dean Fischer.

[Charles Fischer]

As for those wayward students?

 

[1Ducker1]

On 12/24/2021 at 3:39 PM, Vandownbytheriverduck said:

Charles is the Dean of students for Anonymous High School.
 

Freshmen usually move on to become seniors.
 

Some drop out some get expelled.

 

Some, like myself, get detention, suspension and our knuckles rapped. 
 

But Dean Fish loves his school and is always thinking of its reputation snd saving us students from ourselves. 
 

when is senior prank day?
 

Merry Christmas, Dean Wormer, I mean Dean Fischer.
 

 

When I first had contact with Dean Fischer it was about PARAGRAPHS-or my lack of.  I was thinking-- what!! Do I have to be an English major to post here???

Jeebuss its just football- Then he explained how breaking things up were easier to read--you know what -he is right.

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 4:06 PM, 1Ducker1 said:

When I first had contact with Dean Fischer it was about PARAGRAPHS-or my lack of.  I was thinking-- what!! Do I have to be an English major to post here???

Jeebuss its just football- Then he explained how breaking things up were easier to read--you know what -he is right.

 

Actually it is more than that.  Studies show that people will not read four lines straight of text or more...they just skip the post and go on to the next.  So if people want their posts read...hit the "return" or "enter" key twice after every three sentences.

 

It is easier to read, but also assures that you have not wasted your time writing.

[DCDuckfan]

On 12/24/2021 at 12:43 PM, Washington Waddler said:

     Put a face to the names you see on this forum; don’t treat others here with the same anonymous approach as you would on other sites. See them, and treat them with respect as you would yourself.

 

     Think of it as if you were a kid sitting around a family dining room table with your other brothers and sisters learning how to converse with each other in a civil manner. At times, your older sibs (moderators) might give you the eye when they think you should shut-up.  And, if you can’t control yourself, then FishDuck — sitting at the head of the table — is there to send you to your room for a well earned time out and think about what you said. 

 

     Simple, but effective.

I couldn't agree more with this statement...specifically the part about treating folks with respect versus how people are treating each other behind the veil of anonymity elsewhere on the internets...for me that is the key.  Almost nobody would conversate with someone face to face the way that is accepted on almost every online forum aside from OBD because it would escalate instantly into something uncivilized.  

 

I appreciate the conversations on here because folks disagree, but its never personal.  With that comes more intelligent conversation versus every thread devolving into a name calling "mic drop" burn competition that nobody ever wins.

[ICamel]

On 12/24/2021 at 1:23 PM, Charles Fischer said:

My process is...I edit once, (and let the member know) delete the second time, and if it goes from there we have a chat about the future.

You sir are more generous than I.

 

My motto is "screw me once shame on you, screw me twice shame on me"

[LB48]

What a great conversation that’s not focused on sports, rather on being a good, and hopefully better human being. 
 

Thank you Charles for holding me accountable and for second chances. More goodwill to all is a fine goal. 

[Charles Fischer]

On 12/24/2021 at 4:29 PM, ICamel said:

You sir are more generous than I.

 

As soon as I published that comment...I began to have second thoughts because I did not add all the disclaimers and full disclosures that should come along with a rigid policing policy.

 

Because the fact is...I banned someone this last week on the first post!  You see, I use my judgment and experience of working with hundreds of people on this over the last four years of rules.  For the typical "regular" here...I send an email "notifying" them.  It is not a ban or even a warning, but a gentle reminder that we all have to stick to the rules.

 

Nearly 99% of those I send the emails to turn and apologize, resolve to not do it again, thank me for "keeping things clean," and urge me to "keep doing what you do."  ICamel...these are good people, and we then just forget about it and move on.  If there is a second violation...we do have to have a serious discussion, as I cannot have repeat offenders take up my time.  But that rarely happens.

 

Of the 1% that fight back?  That is shouting trouble over time for me, and I draw the line in the sand and let them choose, because a second violation for this type of person gets the trap-door.

 

And then there are the "Drive-by Trolls," who sign up and within ten minutes have written a nasty post about their views on a topic or blasting a writer.  There is judgment used in the severity of my response, but those often are an immediate ban.  I do send an email explaining why, and if they call me and we chat--it is possible to re-instate them, but I need to have a really good gut feeling from the chat.

 

One of the bans this week was a "Drive-by Troll" who gets no additional strikes or chances for redemption because he wrote a nasty public post directed at yours-truly.  You have really question someone's judgment when they intentionally "poke-the-bear."

 

Dealing with violators takes a lot of my time, but sometimes I enjoy the debate, and many times I make new friends in the process as you can never have too many Duck-Buddies!

 

How smart is it to whack the Founder?

[Jon Joseph]

On 12/24/2021 at 7:06 PM, Charles Fischer said:

As for those wayward students?

 

 

LOL! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

[Captaincane]

Charles, Merry Christmas from sunny Florida (77 degrees). You run a very nice Forum and I appreciate you indulging an “Old Cane”. 

[Steven A]

On 12/25/2021 at 10:57 AM, Captaincane said:

Merry Christmas from sunny Florida (77 degrees). You run a very nice Forum and I appreciate you indulging an “Old Cane”. 

Back at you.  It is going to be fun watching how our respective programs do over the next few years.

[Jemangi]

Grace and compassion are what make our world worth living in!

So glad the a__h____  are not able to post their ignorance and lack of civility on here.

Merry Christmas and Happy Healthy Year to all! 

[Krsmqn]

I'm a man of few words, mostly. But I try to make 'em count!

 

Merry Christmas all!  And Go Ducks!

[Haywarduck]

I look at FishDuck like living in a neighborhood with a homeowners association, yes the dreaded HOA. Most don't want to live in a neighborhood which has too many rules, there is too little ability to freely express yourselves, and then...